The weirdest fortunes people have found inside their fortune cookies
Redeem now - Fortune cookies are arguably the best part of ordering Chinese food (even if they're an American gimmick).
- But the fortunes aren't always helpful — they can be useless, weird, and even creepy.
- We scoured Twitter to find the weirdest fortunes people have broken their cookie open to find.
Fortune cookies (whether they actually taste good or not) are one of the best things about ordering Chinese food. Who doesn't get a little bit excited about what their future could have in store?
Unfortunately, not every fortune turns out to be as helpful or as optimistic as we'd like.
From odd vocabulary lessons to random musings about the universe, we've rounded up the funniest fortunes from Twitter.
Apparently, fortune cookies are self-aware, sentient beings.
—nicolaus (@nicoIauss) July 15, 2018They can also threaten you.
—tree fiddy (@sorryimmaria) April 13, 2013Sometimes they don't make any sense.
—Summer Coyote (@AshCoyote) March 23, 2018And sometimes they hit on you.
—Pidel Gastro (@PaulsEgo) July 12, 2018Other times, they'll just give you a vocabulary lesson.
—lauren 🏳️🌈 (@chyleighdnvrs) July 14, 2018Fortune cookies have one job, but even they get lazy sometimes.
—Lo Rene` (@artistlorene) July 16, 2018Apparently they need their beauty sleep.
—Marissa Colon (@Marissaa_82) April 21, 2013This one seems to have taken a page from "Fifty Shades of Grey."
—PostSecret (@postsecret) July 7, 2018This seems like some pretty usless information.
—Ergyn Sadiku (@ergynsadiku) July 9, 2018Not the best way to get people to order from you again.
—Paul (@pjh_22) July 7, 2018Again: a fortune cookie is not the place for fun facts.
—Diana Shiba (@DianaShibaMD) July 2, 2018Telling people to avoid cookies is counterproductive, coming from a cookie.
—Andy Garman (@GarmanSports) June 19, 2018Who wants to get shamed by their fortune?
—David Jolly (@DavidJollyFL) June 16, 2018Not getting a fortune seems to be pretty common.
—Herman Saksono (@hermansaksono) June 14, 2018Remember the "welcome to your tape" meme from "13 Reasons Why?" Even fortune cookies got in on the fun.
—Issiah 💮 (@Zay_T14) June 3, 2018And sometimes, they're just plain strange.
—shawn christmas (@shawnchristmas) May 20, 2018The moral of the story: don't get your hopes up for a life-changing fortune.
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